Love maps, bids for connection and turning toward, the 5:1 ratio of positive to negative, fondness and admiration, rituals of connection, soft startup — and the four behaviours that predict collapse.
The pursue–withdraw cycle as the shared enemy; attachment needs hiding underneath your partner's worst behaviour; de-escalation from your own end of the loop.
Differentiation of self, one-sided change altering a whole system, and not transmitting anxiety through the household circuit.
Anchor plus tiny action, variability against habituation, and autonomy — you can always skip without penalty. This is what makes the science survive a Tuesday.
One finding, translated into sixty seconds
Couples who stayed together turned toward each other's small bids for connection about 86% of the time. Couples heading for divorce: 33%.
A bid asks one question — are you there? Every answered bid raises the odds the next one gets sent.
"Tonight, when they say something about their day, put your phone face-down and give it ten seconds of your actual attention."
What Amendi never does
And what it is not
Amendi is a self-guided wellness program informed by clinical research. It is not therapy, not a diagnosis, and not a substitute for professional help. If your relationship doesn't feel safe, we will say so and point you elsewhere — support resources →